


All those things I didn't say

by galravibes



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 5+1 Things, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Feelings, Fluff, Gay Keith (Voltron), Getting Together, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Letters, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, POV Lance (Voltron), Twisted and Fluffy Feelings, klance, s6 and s7 centric, spoilers for s6 and s7, these two idiots own my heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-08-14
Packaged: 2019-06-27 02:41:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15676371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galravibes/pseuds/galravibes
Summary: "I wrote the previous letter because I missed you. I’m writing this one because I’m not brave enough to admit out loud how happy I am that you’re back."5 finished letters + 1 unfinished





	All those things I didn't say

**Author's Note:**

> Beware! Spoilers for season 7!

 

 1

 

 

Hey, man.

 

Okay. I don’t know how to start this. I could start with a simple hello, but I can’t anymore because I’ve already started by saying I didn’t know how to start. And now I’m in a loop. Okay, stop.

The thing is, it’s been a while since you left, and I don’t know how to deal with everything that’s happening right now. Allura is constantly with Lotor and it hurts a little, not gonna lie. Also, I don’t trust Lotor, and neither I trust him with Allura.

Hunk and Pidge hardly ever speak with me anymore like we used to do before all this crazy stuff began. They’re always on their own, making random tools and talking about mechanical things I don’t understand.

Shiro’s being weird. I know you would know for certain that something’s wrong with him. I’ve made a comment or two about it to the crew, but they’re not listening to me. I know you would. You always listen to me. Or used to, at least.

Look, I’m gonna be honest because this is a handwritten letter that I’ll probably never send you. In fact, my way of dealing with all of this is through this fucking letter.

The thing is, I miss you.

Yes, I know, right now you’d be looking at me like _what the fuck are you talking about, we’re always fighting_. But I do miss you. A lot. Much more than I could ever admit to your face.

When you were here, I was always looking for you. Maybe you didn’t notice because you lived in your own world, always serious and focused (seriously, you need to learn how to relax). But I was always one step behind, trying to catch your attention. Maybe that’s why I always start our bickering, although I don’t know if I’ll ever tell you.

The thing is that, before, I knew I could go to you and you’d be there. You’d listen. You’d talk with me. Remember the day I told you I felt like a seventh wheel? I told you because I thought you’d be the only one that wouldn’t tell me that I was being silly. I knew you’d listen to what I had to say and, even if you thought I was, in fact, being stupid, you’d know that those worries were no foolish for me, and that you’d give me advice. Good advice. And your words would calm me. They always do.

And well, as I already said, I’m writing this letter because I don’t know how to deal with the loneliness I’m feeling right now. How to stop missing someone @ yahoo answers. Okay, I’m sorry. I had to make a joke, or I’d end up crying.

Anyways.

You’ve left a really vast void, and not only in the castle.

 

Lance.

 

 

2

 

 

Keith.

 

I never thought that seeing you again, and not through a screen, would be something that filled me as much. That would make me as happy as it did. However, here you are, flesh and bone, and it seems that you came back to stay, and I think my heart is going to explode because of how fast it’s beating.

Let’s see, our reunion didn’t feat the big hug I was expecting. I ended up complimenting you in an offensive way, and I don’t know how you even do that but I, apparently, did. And you were mean. And it hurt me. Just a little.

Although, well, I actually understand your reaction because you came back with a mother, an Altean and a space wolf, which is a lot to digest and, honestly, I don’t know how to link such different things that fast.

The good thing is that, after you explained everything to everyone, I could talk to you, only the two of us, and you were more or less normal. Very stressed out (I’m serious, you’re gonna end up bald), but normal. And when I spoke with you, it was like everything I’ve been piling up inside suddenly fell, leaving a giant mess. Honestly, I don’t know how I didn’t cry like crazy and hugged you out of the blue.

Such a long time missing you and you appear without warning. My mind shorted out. Also, I think you’ve noticed something was wrong with me because at some point, you were bringing your hand to me and you backed down. And let’s be honest, the only person you start physical contact with is Shiro. So, I was not prepared at all and I noticed my cheeks burn. Luckily, you didn’t notice because when I blush is not that obvious. And you’re oblivious as fuck, too.

Anyways. I wrote the previous letter because I missed you. I’m writing this one because I’m not brave enough to admit out loud how happy I am that you’re back.

The universe is falling apart, but seeing you reminds me that this universe is too big for happiness to be out of the equation.

 

Lance

 

 

3

 

 

Keith.

 

It looks like these letters whose existence is only acknowledged by me (well, and the mice, but because they’re little gossips) are my way of speaking with you without actually speaking with you. Should I tell you all these thoughts? Yes. Am I too much of a coward? I, in fact, am. I’m sorry. But not really. Or I am. I don’t know.

Anyways, coming to the point.

Today I was talking with Allura about Lotor and what an asshole he is, the disgrace he is for this universe, their relationship, all that stuff. And you just came when I hugged her for comfort. When Allura said “Keith” and released me, you were already gone.

I don’t really own you any explanations (I know I’m not actually giving them to you because I’m the only one reading this, shut up, shh), but I’m gonna give them because it was a misunderstanding.

I know you all know I have a crush on Allura. Well, I used to. And it was not just a crush. I liked her a lot. It wasn’t love, that I know for sure, but it was a big thing. However, Allura, before being my crush, she’s my friend. And friends support each other. I know you’re an emo and a lone wolf and blah blah blah, so you understand half of what friendship means. I’ll explain it simply: when a friend has a problem, you want to help them. When a friend is sad, you want to cheer them up. When a friend is happy, you want to smile alongside them. Okay, I said all that in a really rude way. It’s just, I’m really mad right now.

Whatever. The thing is, yes, I liked Allura, yet I got over it. Let’s see, she’s always going to be kind of a crush because she’s wonderful in every possible way, but I don’t see her as more than a friend anymore. And you want to know why?

I only have eyes for you.

There you have it.

From the very beginning you’ve been the only one I could see. In the Garrison I was not discreet at all. And when they kicked you out, well, I stopped seeing you, so my feelings kind of blurred out. I actually didn’t really know you back then, so it was kind of easy. However, they never disappeared. You were the first person I ever saw. Romantically, I mean.

When you suddenly appeared to save Shiro, everything came back, but so many things were happening that I couldn’t process all that was going on in my mind. I was overflowing in past emotions and already gone moments, and what was happening outside my head was also a mess. So yeah, when we got to the castle and we found Allura, well, I have eyes and I of course set my eyes on her. Every being that feels sexual attraction towards women is going to feel attracted to Allura, and that’s a fact.

But while we were at the castle, we started to bond. I started to actually know you. And as days went by, I thought more and more about you and your rare smiles. That’s so cheesy, I’m sorry. And those rare smiles began to be more common, and most of them directed towards me. Or I think, at least. And one’s not made of stone, so I fell.

I completely fell for you.

But once again you left, and my feelings for Allura started growing. However, they were never as big as my feelings for you. Not even close. And now you’re back and my feelings for you kind of kicked out my feelings for Allura.

Whenever we are in the same room, I gasp internally, as if I was running out of breath for no reason. But there’s a reason, and it’s that you’re real, and you’re back. I got you back, Keith.

And I’m happy! We’re again Lance and Keith, neck and neck. We’re a team again. I’m back to being your right hand. But I feel you further away than when you were actually gone. At least, when you were not here, I could imagine that everything was going to go back to normal. Even slightly better.

I guess I’m just too idealistic.

I wish I could talk to you like we used to. I’ve forgotten how to start a conversation with you without it being awkward.

I’m sorry for not being able to be honest in person, and that I’m only able to properly tell you what I think through this letters that will never be send.

You’re here, but I still miss you.

 

Lance

 

 

4

 

 

Keith.

 

Jealousy sucks and I shouldn’t feel it. Jealousy is a toxic emotion and we should discard anything remotely similar. Jealousy grows in you, it starts to consume you from the inside until you’re nothing but rotten rests of who you were. Jealousy shouldn’t be felt, but I’m jealous.

Today I saw you with Acxa, I saw how you went to her even though I tried to stop you, and it hurt. It hurt the complicity I noticed between the two of you when we were in that cave. That complicity we used to have. That complicity we lost.

Today I saw you with Acxa and my eyes wanted to blur and not watch that image of you smiling at her like you would smile at me before.

I want to be the one you look at like that.

I want to be the one you set your eyes on.

I want to be the one to hold your hand.

I want to be the one in your mind when you’re thinking of someone special.

I want to be _that_ someone.

I want to be an important person for you.

I want to look at you and know you feel the same way I do.

But you hold this girl’s hand for a second and my insecurities are already telling me that it’s because she’s brave, strong, with guts, a fighter. And I’m just not enough,

I want to be enough.

 

Lance

 

 

5

 

 

Dear Keith.

 

My last letter was a bit emotional and I don’t like the part of myself I showed you there.

Anyways, today I’m kind of happy. That Feud thing we did a few weeks ago was nuts and I felt like shit during the game because Bob kept calling me stupid. Still, when we had to choose who should be free out of the five of us, you chose me. You fucking chose me. You said something mean to justify it and I still haven’t asked you about it, but you chose me.

I was your first option.

I didn’t know what it was to be someone’s first option.

And Pidge told me she saw you write as soon as we were given those weird pens, so it means you didn’t even think too much.

I don’t know, I’m sure I’m reading too much into it, but that simple action is giving me hope. It’s giving me hope that one day we’ll go back to be ourselves. You’re you, and I’m me. We haven’t changed. But _we_ have changed. And not in a good way. So with this, my mind is running at 100 miles per hour and I can’t stop thinking

 _maybe, maybe, maybe_.

I already told you I want to be more than a friend to you. Well, not explicitly, but even you can get it after all I’ve been writing in these letters. I want to openly love you, and I want to stop feeling that this powerful emotion is a burden for both of us.

However, what I want most is to be close to you again, and be like before, and be better than before.

I want you back.

I _need_ you back.

And hope never tasted as sweet as it does now.

 

Lance

 

 

+1

 

 

Dear Keith.

 

We’ve defeated the Galra empire. We survived. We’re finally _alive_ on Earth. We’re home. A destroyed home, but still our home. I’m back with my family and I couldn’t be happier. Well, I could, if you actually approached me to talk about those things we said while we were floating in space. We both said nasty stuff and thank the Goddess for Hunk’s existence because he was the only one able to stop our arguing.

I don’t know, you were rude as fuck, but I also said harmful things. And, if I’m being honest, I meant what I said about you leaving. Not the “you should have stayed away” thing. After all these letters, I hope it’s pretty clear that I’d never prefer you being away from me. More like completely the opposite.

Anyways, the thing is that in such conditions, my mind started playing tricks, and I want to assume yours did, too.

Just when I thought things were going to be better, when I could finally say I was hopeful again, all these dark stuff happens and

 

“What are you doing, Lance?,” said Keith’s voice from the door.

Lance was still writing his letter when Keith entered through the door. He didn’t even knock to announce his arrival. And the Red Lion didn’t even made him aware that certain paladin was visiting him.

“Oh, I, hum, nothing!” he tried to hide all the pens, envelopes and sheets that were scattered over the table, but Keith was already walking towards him.

“You were writing?” he glanced at what Lance was trying to hide with his body.

“Hey! Don’t read them!”

“Them?” Now Keith was even more curious about what those letters said, so he smirked and run to the table to catch the one Lance had been writing before he could put it away.

 _He smirked. I haven’t seen that smirk in so long_ , Lance thought.

He was so lost in thought that didn’t realized Keith was already reading it.

Lance wanted to run because for some reason, the universe hated him and wanted him to be miserable. Still, he stayed. If his feelings and insecurities were going to be out, he might as well face whatever may come of it.

Keith looked up after finishing the letter. Lance didn’t know what to say or do, so he just waited.

After a few seconds, Keith finally spoke.

“Can I read the rest of them?”

“Eh, I guess the cat’s out of the bag, so, uh, yeah, why not.” Lance took the letters and gave them to Keith.

They both sat down in the floor next to each other, closer than they’ve been in a really long time.

Keith opened the envelopes, being careful not to rip them. He read the letters slowly, as if he was trying to fully soak himself in the meaning. Still, he controlled his face so his expressions wouldn’t give a hint of what he was thinking. That was making Lance really nervous, so he decided to just look forward and wait. Well, it was not that easy because he couldn’t stop bouncing his leg, but he tried.

After nearly half an hour, Keith folded the last of the letters and stared at Lance.

“Okay, that was a lot to process,” Keith spoke slowly. “I want to clarify everything, but there’s one thing I need to ask right away, just in case.”

Lance nodded, expectant.

“So, you don’t have anything with Allura?”

“No. Wait, what?” Lance was really confused. He was expecting any kind of question, but definitely _not_ that one.

“Okay,” Keith began, “okay, then I think I should admit something before you start rambling.”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Lance was too shocked to even answer properly, anyways.

“There’s a reason I was kinda rude in the Feud thing, and yeah, I didn’t tell you basically because I, uh, I might have assumed when I was back that you and Allura where, you know, uh, a thing.”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what?!” Lance shouted. “How could you even think that?!”

“Hey! Calm down! Okay, the thing is that, when I made that video call, the first thing I saw was the image of you and Allura looking fondly at each other. I assumed you got together while I was away. That’s why when I came back and you suddenly started complimenting me as if nothing had just happened, kind of hurt me. Like, why didn’t you tell me you two got together? And why were you saying those things if you already had someone else? It hurt, and so I got angry and snapped at you.” Keith tried to avoid eye contact.

“Keith, what you saw was literally me comforting Allura. It’s something I do with everyone, so I really don’t know why would you think I started dating her. And wait,” Lance suddenly realized, “why were you hurt?”

“Huh… Okay, my time to be honest. First things first, I missed you too. I missed you so much, Lance. While I was with the blades, I felt like they were little by little making me a bit of a robot. The only thing they wanted to make me think about was the mission. And at first, I was okay with that, but in every battle, we lost at least someone. People I didn’t know. And that made me think of Voltron, and how we were doing things really different of how I used to, and how I missed knowing the ones I was fighting alongside with. And, above all, how I specifically missed you. I missed knowing I could always count on you, how I could always trust you, how I could always talk to you. I just missed you with all my heart.” Lance was silently listening to Keith, looking at him as if he had never met him before.

“Regarding the Acxa thing, you definitely got it completely wrong. She saved our lives, Lance, that smile was pure gratefulness, nothing more.”

“But I also saw her at your dad’s grave with you and your mother last week,” Lance interrupted him.

“Yeah, because she wanted to ask my mother if she could help her and Kolivan to look for the blades that might still be alive out there. She’s trying to do things in the right way. She’s trying to make up for everything she’s done. And my mum is willing to give her an opportunity.”

“Well, I guess that makes sense. And it’s really nice. That she’s doing it, I guess.” Lance ducked his head, a bit ashamed of being so jealous of her. He misunderstood everything.

“Hey, don’t look so down. I assumed the same with you and Allura, right?” Keith lips went up a little in a sad smile.

“Yeah,” Lance looked at him again and mirrored his expression.

“Okay, I’ll keep going. The Feud thing? Of course I chose you. I didn’t want you to stay there any longer. That Bob guy wouldn’t stop calling you dumb, you even ended up calling yourself dumb because of him! And that game he made you play with the names of those people? Damn, I still can’t believe you recognized the faces of all those people after everyone we’ve met! Of course you wouldn’t remember the names. I just wanted you to be free from that stupid game.”

“And why did you say that way the eternity thing?” Lance whispered. If they weren’t standing so close, Keith wouldn’t have heard him.

“I said it because I didn’t want to spend an eternity _there_ with you. Yeah, I said it horribly wrong, but remember that at the time I thought you were with Allura, and, well, I basically said the first thing I thought of. And it was kind of true but kind of a lie, too, so, yeah. Still, I’m really sorry for what I said and for not apologizing before.” Keith was definitely blushing a little and, for the first time, he looked away.

“Wait, you said there? Why there?” Lance questioned.

“Because I do want to have you in my life for as long as I can ask for. I’m not proposing or anything. We haven’t even spend much time together in a while, but whether being friends or something else, you being in my life is something I would love to have.”

“Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,” Lance said so fast the words sounded distorted.

“I’m waiting,” Keith said, smiling a little and still not looking at Lance.

“Ha ha, not time for sassy comments. This is a lot to process so I need you to put it simply because I don’t know if you’re saying what I think you’re saying and I’m really done with misunderstandings.”

“Okay, let me be clear. Lance you’re enough. More than enough. You’re an awesome person and you literally bring light to people’s lives. I’ve liked you for the longest time and because our life’s been a mess, I never told you. Hope that’s clear enough.” Keith finally looked at Lance.

“Oh, my God, Keith!” Lance jumped out of where he was sitting and hugged him tightly. He started crying, but the widest of the smiles was plastered on his face. He had Keith in his arms, and right now, he couldn’t ask for more.

“This means you still like me, right?” Keith muttered on Lance’s shoulder. Lance quickly released him and hold Keith’s shoulders. He stared directly at Keith’s eyes.

“That you’re questioning it offends me, but yes, I do like you. I like you a lot, Keith.” As soon as he said it, it was Keith who put his arms around Lance first, holding him tightly.

They were really different, they both knew. Still, for some reason, they found their way to each other easily. Being together felt as natural as breathing, and even though they might’ve been feeling like they were suffocating for a long time, with their arms around each other they suddenly were able to breath again.

They broke away from the hug and sat even closer. Lance intertwined their fingers and started caressing the back of Keith’s hand.

“So, would you go on a date with me?” Lance looked Keith in the eyes and smiled fondly.

“I would go with you anywhere, even outer space,” Keith smirked.

_I really, really missed that smirk._

**Author's Note:**

> *and then they kissed*
> 
> \---
> 
> Sorry if there were any grammar/spelling mistakes! Leave comments and tell me your thoughts <3


End file.
